Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
But then, I went and said so out loud. Earlier this week I made a comment about how well I had been doing. Which, of course, meant that I would end up puking at work today and being sent home. I managed to hold it in until after 3, but of course my manager (and one of my good friends, you may recall) has my "I just yakked" face memorized, and immediately hugged me and said "go home."
What the crap, self? You know better than to say those things out loud, get with it!
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
This is a tough choice sometimes. I've had rheumies that I just flat out didn't like- who made me feel like a private in the army just taking orders from his superior- even though it was my body. I've had rheumies whom I loved, were personable, got along with me well, seemed to be willing to treat as aggressively as I was comfortable, but had the most shit-tastically run offices I have ever seen. Now I have one who seems nice enough, and competent, but rather than treating me as a partner in my treatment is acting more like I'm sitting in the back seat just along for the ride... like, "Ok sure, we'll get pizza for lunch, but first lets run these few errands I have, then we can TOTALLY do what you were just yammering on about."
So, when do you say enough is enough? It's hard to balance the long periods of time it can take to see improvement with treatment changes, but where is the line that says "waiting is no longer an option"?
Some of you are new to the world of autoimmune disorders and are still trying too navigate the tricky situations that can arise as a result, but I know a lot of you that have years of experience. Share with us the key signs you look for, or that we should be looking for on first visits to help us determine if a doctor is going to be the right fit.
Choosing a rheumatologist is just like hiring a maid: you don't want to hire a maid where you feel like you have to clean up the house before she gets there. As one forum member at Arthritis Foundation pointed out to me, these doctors are your employees and they should be including you as an active, decision making part of the process.
What are your guys' thoughts?
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Did you know there are different kinds of refraction? The one most people think of- where a lucky tech like me gets to stand there saying "which is better, one or two?" - that's called a subjective refraction, because we rely on the opinion of the patient to determine the prescription. There are also objective refraction options, or rather, refractions that are based on the physical makeup of your eye, rather than what you think you see. Few doctors trust these objective methods implicitly because, well, it's YOUR vision, and even if the retinascope says this is what you need, you may not like it. So, often times, objectives will be used to find a starting point and then the subjective refraction will be done by the tech or doctor to finalize a prescription.
Pain is just like vision: yes, it is something that should have objective indicators which a doctor can monitor. But, there is also a hugely subjective component that can only be measured and expressed by the patient. And, just like most people find the which is better test to be stressful (because the B looks better on one, but the N is darker on two, and how am I supposed to know which one I prefer, this is beginning to feel like a life or death decision ohmygod someone please help me I'm DYING!) trying to measure your level of pain becomes one big mind fuck. "My fingers are killing me today, but they don't look swollen. And my knees won't bend, but there are no pressure systems near me, there aren't even tiny storm cells to watch. Maybe it's in my head. Maybe I'm not really sick, I'm just whiny and if I bucked up I would be fine."
That's the problem with having an invisible disease: yes it's hard to convince others that you are sick, but at one point or another you're going to end up psyching yourself out and feeling like a hypochondriac. Because, can you REALLY be sick if you don't look sick?
Yes. The answer, is yes.