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Sunday, July 19, 2015

Why would I go on a diet? I'm fucking fabulous!

I mean, ok if I'm being totally honest with you all (which why the hell would I put the effort into getting a blog and then NOT be totally honest in it?) I do, in fact, need to lose some weight.  But as long as I fit into my clothes well enough, then I have a hard time using that as motivation to diet and exercise. However, pain is one of the best motivators for anything. And the idea that a change in diet would improve my pain levels and reduce the amount of pain relievers I need to take, then despite my love of crappy food I have to at least give it a try. After all, I can't actually complain about a diet or turn my nose up at it without having tried it first.
So I'm going gluten free.
And I want you all to know, this is very hard for me. Everything in my house was whole wheat. Bread, chips, bagels, all of it. I was in LOVE with gluten. Yet, so much of the research, and so much of the personal testimony, shows that gluten can increase the amount of inflammation overall in the body and exacerbate the pain of RA, PA, OA, or whatever kind of A you have. It can also be an irritant to gastrointestinal problems like IBS or Chron's. So I did it, I ditched the whole wheat, whole grain everything and started looking for the labels with "Gluten Free!" on it.
Let's talk about the fact that anything with a "gluten free" or "organic" or any other health craze catch phrase has at least a $1.00 Zeitgeist tax on it.
Seriously?
I added it up one week and it would actually have been significantly cheaper to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at McDonald's dollar menu for the entire 7 days than to pay for the entirely gluten free, trans fat free, no preservative, no additives from the Mars rover groceries I had purchased.
I don't know if you're familiar with the Supernatural
fandom, but we have a meme for everything.
No wonder we're a nation of Type II Diabetics with chubby children; we have become so financially dependent on artificial sugars and over processed flour that our bodies don't know what to do with the food we're putting into them.

So WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY are we dragging our asses on demanding that quality food be affordable on a living wage?? Have you noticed what products have the WIC stickers on them? I'll give you a hint, it isn't Dr. Praeger's spinach pancakes.
Whoa, that got political really quickly. That's ok, that's where I was headed anyway, I just got there a lot faster than I anticipated. And please realize that I understand WHY it is cheaper to buy shit than not. All of those factories pounding out our prepackaged, premade foods are getting bangin' sweetheart deals with the producers of the ultraprocessed wheat flour that barely resembles wheat in any way shape or form. So when they make something that is gluten free- read as: made with rice flour or corn flour- they lose that cheap supply and have to go somewhere else for their flour. That place doesn't get much business because the Super Wheat's have eaten up all the major business opportunities, which means they have to charge more per unit for their flour than SuperWheatCor or whoever it is making that fake flour is charging. That means that, in order to not cut the profit margin on the individual units of product being sold, the producing company has to hike the price to reflect the change in their cost of production.
But is it equivalent? Are they only hiking it by how much more the flour costs? Or are they taking this opportunity to slap that Zeitgeist tax on everything, knowing that half the people buying it have no choice (Celiacs patients, for instance) and a third of the rest don't know any better. The other 2 thirds of that remainder are like me and know its happening, don't like it, but prefer life withthout SuperWheatCor inside our cabinets.

OK let's take a step back from the political fire I just lit. Leave it over there, don't touch it kids. Let's instead focus on what I found physically after cutting out gluten.
I felt better.
Fuck me if I didn't want that to be the truth, but it is. At the suggestion of my nutritionisty friend I switched everything and- especially after seeing the price tag- I didn't want it to be as obvious a change as it was but... well, God is mean sometimes. And after a month of doing that we then had to deal with that heinous move, so of course the diet structure went out the window and I went back to shitty fast food, Stouffer's, and Eggo's. Can you guess what happened then?  Very good, Dora, I felt like shit.
Now I'm kind of half on the wagon, half hanging off repeatedly hitting my head on the big rocks as they roll under. I've replaced a lot of things again with gluten free options, but I also have not been as strict on myself about eating out (most fast food places the only gluten free option is the one with no baked products involved. Salad. Salad is your option.)
So would I recommend it? Yes, if you can afford it. I think its at least worth a try. Like anything, it won't work the same for everyone. Some people have life changing differences in health, some people are like me and just feel better but not perfect, and some people notice no change and have a huge hole in their wallet to boot. But you can at least try it. Pick a month that won't be stressful for you, without moving across state lines, for instance, and just make the switch. You don't have to throw everything out, just put it all in one cabinet and don't touch it. Replace it with the gluten free alternative and see how it goes. If it is life changing, you can give away the other food at work or to a homeless shelter. (Unless its open. But I bet you could find a homeless person who would take it directly, open or not.)
It isn't for everyone. But if it is for you, isn't that so much simpler than having to take more ibuprofen/Tramadol/narcotics of any kind?

Yes.

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