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Autoimmune diseases bring a whole different set of problems. There's no reason to try and deal alone. Why not be in it together?
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Monday, July 11, 2016


"How the fuck am I supposed to have a
dinner party with TWO spoons??"
Have you heard of spoon theory?

For a long time I hadn't, and I was always so confused to see people referring to themselves or others on message boards as "spoonies", I thought, "what a bizarre nickname to give yourselves." But then finally, it occurred to me that I have this fancy thing called "Google" where I can find these kinds of things out.

Here's the easy breakdown. Look in your kitchen drawer- go ahead and I'll wait here. So, when you
looked in there, you probably had about 3 less spoons than what you bought, because that's how life works. So imagine that YOU are the cutlery drawer, and every morning when you wake up you have so many spoons in that drawer.
On a side note, the carnival will NOT
accept spoons in lieu of tickets or payment.
Everything you do in life costs you a certain number of spoons, like tickets at a carnival. When you wake up each day, you think of the things you have to do, how many spoons each one costs, and make sure you have enough spoons to cover it. Some days you might find that some spoons are missing; other days you may miraculously have more spoons than normal, almost like the dishwasher spit up in the drawer. (Those are the best days.)

This is an easy way to explain to your friends why you don't have the energy to come over "and just hang." That's one spoon. Or a movie, that's probably two spoons, between getting there and then the stiffness from sitting for so long. Those activities may seem innocuous to most people, but for someone with chronic pain or fatigue, they sound like running a 5K to get to a rowing contest you're competing in.

It's so difficult for others to understand what it feels like to ALWAYS hurt. Every second of every day. Try to explain it to your friends this way, and if you have to flake on plans at the last minute, or turn them down for an invitation, just let them know that it's only because all of your spoons went to working and grocery shopping, taking care of the kids, or some other vital function society insists you do like "showering" and "good hygiene".

And I know it takes time for them to understand why you seem so flaky and unreliable, but just be patient and remind them that you really are trying your hardest. If you are a good friend, who is emotionally there for them, then you should be able to expect understanding from them in return. (That's why texting is the greatest invention ever!)

What do you guys tend to spend your spoons on?

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